December 20, 2018
Leah and I are a part of a local videographer group, and when I found out I’d be able to film her sweet family and she could film mine, I was ecstatic! Jude is just over one month old, and she is the absolute sweetest. I loved being able to film this adorable family and help capture some memories for them! Jaramillo family, enjoy your Family Video:
To hear more about Jude’s birth, read what Leah wrote here:
Leading up to Jude being born there was some intense anxiety about what that process would look + feel like. Because Blythe’s birth was so chaotic in comparison to what I had imagined it would be like I was anticipating that Jude’s delivery would be just as difficult to process. There were certain truths that I /knew/ but I didn’t quite feel, + I would repeat them to myself almost daily; Jude WILL be born eventually, you WILL be able to do this, no two births are the exact same, etc. As my due date approached I was so ready to just have this baby. I wanted to not be pregnant, to get the hormonal newborn stage over with(for my sake, not the baby no longer being a newborn). I wanted a normalcy back, not a physical condition that could or could not change any day now.
I had promised myself that I wouldn’t look up dates, I wouldn’t let myself play the “if this were Blythe I would be…” game because I knew that it would just break me down + make me frustrated with the current state of things. I spent hours just trying to fill my time with more and more to do so that I couldn’t focus on the baby not coming yet. This meant that my workload kept growing, I kept saying “yes” + that led to things around the house not being kept up with.
So when November 9th rolled around + I had finished my last weddings before Jude was due, my product shoots were all shot and waiting for editing, and I was ready to not be pregnant I decided that I would just start doing what I could to help my body get ready too. I honestly didn’t even think about how the next day was my due date, I was just thinking about how I didn’t have anything else to do + that stressed me out. I didn’t want to sit around and think about the baby being in my belly and not my arms. That day I did more squats, more walking + more cleaning than I even thought I was capable of at that point. We even went to Ikea and walked the entire store after Andrew got home that evening. Despite some disheartening comments about how “it must be twins!” And all the walking we did, it didn’t seem like Jude was anywhere near ready to make a move, so we went home, laid Blythe down + decided to spend a few hours cleaning the house so we could relax that weekend.
When 11pm rolled around I started to think that maybe the small twinges I had been feeling might not just be Braxton hicks + I began timing them. This was by no means the first time I had started timing contractions, + I was sure that I’d time them, they would peter out + I would still be very pregnant for the foreseeable future. One hour of timing showed me they were consistent, but I still wasn’t convinced. Two hours of timing showed that they weren’t petering out as quickly as times past, but I still wouldn’t let myself be convinced. Almost three hours of timing I decided to call Sena, my midwife(who was my mama’s midwife when she delivered me + 4 of my siblings), just to let her know because the next day there were blocks of time that she would be unavailable as first call + Stacy, the second midwife, would need to be notified in the instance that something happened in those blocks of time.
Talking to Sena we decided I would try to sleep some, and touch base in 6 hours at 8am the next morning.
I was able to sleep between contractions from 215-415am, and then I started not being able to fall back asleep in between. Finally after an hour I decided to get out of bed, + get ready for my day. I still wasn’t convinced, the contractions were still 10 minutes apart, + even if I WAS in labor I was certain it would be days before I met my sweet Jude because that was how it went with Blythe. Within an hour the contractions had gone from feeling slightly uncomfortable to being almost unbearable, and they were now 5 minutes apart. I still didn’t want to let myself believe this was it.
I walked downstairs, woke Andrew up + told him it might be time for him to get up. + then I called Sena. At this point it was 610am, I couldn’t talk beyond a hum during contractions, my legs were shaking like I was in transition, but I STILL wasn’t convinced. I think I said something along the lines of “i’m going to take a bath and see if anything changes” to Sena.
Andrew was starting to get things around the house ready, calling my parents, bringing the birth tub upstairs to my room, making the bed with the plastic sheets, etc. I ran the bath, got in, + almost immediately felt the need to push. I yelled for Andrew + he told me he couldn’t get ahold of my parents. That was when I started crying. I had planned as much as I could for this birth, talking to all of the people I wanted there, making sure I had the supplies ready, the numbers written down + taped to the bathroom mirror, I didn’t even need to drive anywhere to have Jude, + yet I was sitting alone in a mostly cold bath barely filled to the 1/3 line, too scared to tell my midwife to come because I didn’t want to be told nothing was happening. After another contraction I called my sister Jenna + told her to wake up mom + dad. I knew I needed my mama there with me.
The next few hours are all blurred together. A mush of feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, relieved, + excited. I will never forget the moment I saw my mama walk up the stairs, the feeling of relief knowing that there were more than 2 hands to help with everything now. Between her, Andrew + my dad they got my bed made up, the tub filled + heated(because my dad + Andrew literally ran pots of boiling water up the stairs) + I wasn’t alone during contractions anymore.
Within 45 minutes of my parents getting there Sena + Stacy, the two midwives, arrived. Liz, my beautiful friend + acting Doula, + Tabitha, my friend, previous birth client, boss + photographer, also arrived. I had been feeling the need to push for about 30 minutes at that point, but knew I should probably wait for Sena to arrive before I started pushing, but as soon as she walked in the door + said “well let’s try pushing + see what happens. You can do this” it was a wave of relief. She trusted me, she gave me permission to do what my body was telling me to do, + it felt so good to be in that space. To be addressed as an adult who could actually know something about what was happening.
After roughly 45 minutes of pushing, surrounded by people who love me, Jude Eleanor made her debut.
She was 8lbs 1oz, 19.5 inches long. The hours following her birth were full of some of the people closest to me reveling in our sweet girl.